Tired of Performing? You Can Rest Here.

I’m so very glad you are here! Before we jump in, let’s take a few deep breaths together and clear the chaos in our racing minds.

I love to use the box breathing technique: 4 breaths in, hold for 4, 4 breaths out, hold for 4, repeat a few times. I know if we're anything alike, you’ve been running around all day and trying to do all the things—a faithful follower of Jesus, a present wife and mom, a dedicated employee or stay at home hard-working mama—all the things. We barely get a few minutes just to pause and be.

And when we do get a few precious moments, we often quickly turn to social media and see everyone else doing it all and killing it. Everyone else seems to have figured out the best way to balance it all, the best new book or bible study, the best workout, the best diet, the next life hack that promises to change your life but never does. It’s always more, more, more, and we’re left feeling more inadequate at a never-ending list of things we can never get to. We perform, we achieve, we people-please, and say yes. We genuinely want to help others, make a difference, and be used by Jesus, but if we’re honest, it’s all gotten so out of control, and we’re plain exhausted.

I’ve had so many days where I feel like a robot, like I just have to keep going, an endless machine proving my worth to my family, friends, and the world and even to Jesus.

But I’m not a machine, and neither are you. God didn’t create us to live at this speed and pace. And he never intended for us to strive and hustle for our worth and value.

Are you tired of performing? If so, this is your invitation to rest here with Jesus and me. Resting in His Grace leads to discovering your new Identity and the wonderful Purpose He has for you (and that doesn't include constant busyness).

From Shame to Performance

I’ve been on a 40-year wilderness journey, and God is finally breaking the performance stronghold that has kept me stuck on the performance treadmill my entire life. I’d love to share what he’s been teaching me so that you can be set free and rest too!

Early in life, I experienced rejection and betrayal from people who I thought really loved me. This left me feeling so ashamed, believing something must be wrong with me. In an effort to hide my shame, I decided to get dressed up in performance to show everyone how great I was.

But here’s the thing: when you never heal from shame and don’t take off the shackles, it doesn’t matter what you try to cover it up with—shame is still there, and it causes the most severe insecurity.

So there I was, in a prison cell of shame, wearing shackles and trying to run as fast as I could on the performance treadmill in a fancy performance pantsuit. Can you just picture the craziness of that? Trying to run with shackles around your ankles and hands would be hard enough, but then try adding a fancy pantsuit. I was one sweaty hot mess!

But the praise from someone at church, a boss, family or friend was fuel to my insecurity, a small drink of water that kept me running faster and faster. I needed more praise, more water, so that I could keep running. It’s ironic that the very thing I thought I needed was also the thing that was destroying me.

When we’re empty and broken inside and chasing after the things of this world to fill us up, it's never enough and never satisfies.

It reminds me of this Bible verse:

For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

— Jeremiah 2:13 (ESV)

I’d spent the majority of my life forsaking the living water God had for me and instead was running after the water of the world to fill my broken cistern of a soul. No wonder it never worked!

The Better Way: Resting in Grace

But God and his powerful and wonderful grace. He finally allowed me to get to the end of myself and my self-saving efforts, which were actually destroying me, and showed me a better way. I had been running for decades to prove my worth when one day after a counseling session to deal with yet another bout of burnout, he spoke so gently to me and asked, “What if success now is to stop and to rest?”

I had been running my entire life because no one told that little girl she was safe, loved, and accepted by her Heavenly Father. She didn’t need to prove anything to anyone anymore. She didn’t need to be so preoccupied with ‘doing’. She could finally rest at the feet of Jesus like Mary and she could surrender her inner Martha.

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

— Luke 10:38-42 (ESV)

I replied, “Yes, I will stop and rest now.” When I came into agreement with God, the performance treadmill that had kept my soul in constant restlessness and anxiety stopped. The sweaty and dirty performance pantsuit fell to the ground where it belonged. And the shame shackles broke into a million pieces.

When I looked up, the prison cell was open—it had been open for over 20 years since I first put my faith in Jesus. But this was the first day I decided to walk out. Jesus had set me free, and I was finally ready to receive his gift of grace—a gift I still have to choose to receive every day.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

— Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)

This is How His Grace Transforms Our Identity and Purpose, Trading Old Lies for His Solid Truth:

Lie	Truth
Rejected: I am unlovable.	Fully and unconditionally loved, accepted and adopted (John 15:9, Ephesians 1:5)
Shame: I must hide myself.	Set free (Galatians 5:1)
Performance & People-pleasing: My worth is in my striving.	Presence: My worth is in being present with Jesus (John 15:4)

The Final Invitation: Learn the Unforced Rhythms of Grace

I hope and pray you stay here with me to get rooted in God’s restful grace so that we can be set free to bloom in your new identity in Jesus and discover the wonderful purposes he has for you.

But for now, I leave you with Jesus’ invitation into rest:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.”

— Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

With Love,

Jessica Grace Pegram